This submission comes from twitter. And I think he’s absolutely right.
wickedlycool @yourbfisadouche How about posting a photo of Chris Brown on your blog? I cant think of a more deserving douchebag.
You know, he has a point. Here we have Chris Brown. I have to admit, when he first hit the scene and made it big, I liked him. He can sing, he puts out catchy stuff that gets stuck in your head, exactly what you need to make it big. And he was blowing up. And all of that came to a grinding halt when he beat the hell out of his then-girlfriend Rihanna for some text message he got from another girl.
Look, dude. You don’t hit women. Along with hitting kids, and puppies, and other small animals. It’s never okay. Unless she’s got a gun or she’s gonna kill you first, you do not hit a woman.
For that, sir, you are a douchebag.
And you still wear BAPE. Nobody does that anymore.
This comes from an email titled “ASIAN DOUCHE ALERT”. Color me interested.
Inside is this heartfelt description of the douche in question:
“This is my douchebag of an ex boyfriend. he broke up with me for NO REASON after a year of dating and saying he loved me and all this bull shit every day. whatever.. he just turned 18 but he still looks like a fucking 12 year old.”
So that’s pretty douchey, but so is taking pictures of yourself NAKED. Especially when you have the physique of a 12 year old Taiwanese factory worker. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you’re not a dog.
P.S., John Mayer has the whole peace sign thing on lock.
Douche. Bag.
Sometimes the simplest explanations are the best. This two-liner was sent in via email:
“32 year old “DJ” claims he is 25 and worldwide.
Lives upstairs in his fathers house and wears grillz.”I don’t even know where to start with this one. First of all, lying about your age is a tactic reserved for women, and teenagers. Unfortunately, the douchebag in question is neither of those things, so shaving 7 years off of your age to seem more “edgy” is not okay. Neither is wearing grillz. He’s not of the appropriate age (if there even is one) to wear a “grill”, nor is he black, which seems to be a pretty powerful prerequisite as well. But most of all, if you are a “worldwide DJ”, do you really end your wordy travels by going back to your dad’s house? Come on, man.
You’re a douchebag.
Here’s another fun email submission: “I attached a photo of my douchebag ex-boyfriend and his buddies. He fooled around with multiple girls while we were dating. He’s the second one from the left, looking extra douchebaggie with his little mowhawk. I’d love it if you could post this to the site.”
your wish is my command.
Nice face, bro. All this guy needs is a Von DutchDouche trucker hat. Bonus points for the greased back hair and the “this is totally casual with my hand in my pocket” picture pose.
Douche. Bag.
Okay, seriously, what is it with the old man douchebags these days?
This guy is a textbook example.
He has to be upwards of 40, 45, probably horribly single, and has the idea that if he dresses like a trendy 20 year old, someone will love him.
The answer is no.
Douchebag.
Continuing the seeming series of “celebrities who at one time looked like complete douchebags”, is Carrot Top.
This guy used to be funny. Funny looking, yeah, but also just genuinely funny. He did those AT&T collect commercials and stuff, and that was cool.
Then he dropped off the map, showed up a few years later, and looked like the hulk’s redheaded bastard child, and does extremely rudimentary Las Vegas comedy shows. He looks like Danny Bondauce. What the fuck, man.
What happened to this Carrot Top?
You were funny dude, but you’ve forced me to do it.
Verdict: Carrot Top has become a Douche Nozzle.
