This was sent in by the ex-girlfriend of the douchebag in question. The story is as follows:
“Ladies and gentlemen,
May I present to you Adrian Flores. Adrian fancies himself a musician of the highest caliber, despite the fact that he has never made it out of Austin TX, the “live music capital of the world”. His hero is Tommy Lee, the drummer for Motley Crue, and as you can see the resemblance is uncanny (sarcasm). Adrian and I had a toxic relationship full of conflict and drama that lasted years longer than it should’ve. It refused to die after he took my life into his hands and caused a head-on collision while we were in my car. It refused to die after he cheated on me, which was of course my fault because I lost that “intimate” feeling after our accident and stopped sleeping with him. The death knell was when he knocked up the gal he cheated on me with, and she posted it to her MySpace, knowing that I checked out her page every now and then. There are so many, many more crazy stories, but for now please enjoy Adrian’s Myspace page. I saved some of the douchier photos from this page but I believe that you will be able to access them yourselves.
Warmest regards,(name withheld)ex-girlfriend of a douchebag”
Douchebag, indeed.
Nice face, bro. All this guy needs is a Von DutchDouche trucker hat. Bonus points for the greased back hair and the “this is totally casual with my hand in my pocket” picture pose.
Douche. Bag.
Okay, seriously, what is it with the old man douchebags these days?
This guy is a textbook example.
He has to be upwards of 40, 45, probably horribly single, and has the idea that if he dresses like a trendy 20 year old, someone will love him.
The answer is no.
Douchebag.
Continuing the seeming series of “celebrities who at one time looked like complete douchebags”, is Carrot Top.
This guy used to be funny. Funny looking, yeah, but also just genuinely funny. He did those AT&T collect commercials and stuff, and that was cool.
Then he dropped off the map, showed up a few years later, and looked like the hulk’s redheaded bastard child, and does extremely rudimentary Las Vegas comedy shows. He looks like Danny Bondauce. What the fuck, man.
What happened to this Carrot Top?
You were funny dude, but you’ve forced me to do it.
Verdict: Carrot Top has become a Douche Nozzle.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, JOHN MAYER?
I’m glad to see that you have since toned it down, seeing as you’ve grown up a lot since this picture was taken, i’m sure, but man, I would have never taken you for the type to take the “peace sign in the mirror with the BAPE hoodie” picture.
at least now you look like this:
So i can like your music without thinking you believe you’re the only white member of the wu-tang clan.
We’ll call this John Mayer: Reformed ex-douchebag.
The lipstick on your chest doesn’t mean you have “game”, bro.
My douche-dar is beeping off the charts.
