please take a second to check this out.
First of all, thank you to everyone who reblogged and liked this yesterday. You guys rock. To everyone who wasn’t sure, yes, the bracelets are real and for sale. The proceeds of the sales of the “i heart balls” bracelets go directly to testicular cancer reasearch. If you would like to purchase one, please click here, or on the image above. At the very least, please take a second and reblog this and spread the word. That’s all it takes to help out.
Thanks alot everyone. :)
High School Creep Douche:
This is another user submission, sent to the lovely home of Your Boyfriend Is A Douchebag:
“This is Daniel. He broke up with me over text message. He drives a sports bike without a license and shows off to the high school kids like he’s some hot-shot. He got fired from his managerial job at the mall for “being a dick.” He got kicked out of college for drug use and got kicked out of his house. He’s now living with his friend, and got in a fight with his friend and his friend’s single mom when they asked him to pay rent and he refused. He also thinks his new muscles and metal face make him the hottest thing around.”
Number one, creeping around high school after you’ve graduated is exceedingly creepy. I don’t think I’m the only one who was happy to get out of there, and never in my right mind would I ever go back to that fucking cesspool by will.
Number two, refusing to pay rent to people who have graciously taken you in when you’re down on your luck is probably the epitome of the word “Douchebag.”
Done.
This is a reader submission:
“Photos are attached.
Lets refer to him as Mr. Faggy Fag who still hasn’t come to terms with his sexuality, and cries to mommie if daddy doesn’t give him his willy to suck on at night. And as if that wasn’t enough, he has a gang of queers who he calls friends to help him out.
A wannabe Liam Gallaghar from the band Oasis, he says and I quote “If music is religion, Oasis are Gods”, and he thinks he is the most innovative person to have come up with this quote. I mean seriously? Just look at his fucking face!
Favorite Actress: Meg Ryan (I am sure she will puke a hairball if she even gets a glimpse of this douche.)
I dated him for a week and then dumped him for another guy which is the obvious thing to do when you realize you are knee deep in the douche bagginess of a homo, but this guy didn’t leave me alone for 9 months after that!!! Fucking psycho would come unannounced to my house at 3 in the nmorning and ask me if i can spend one day with him coz he loves me!
Hope I meet him someday again, just to drown him in his own puke.
Fell free to edit, and no names please. :)
Love,
me”
Oh, Ben Roethlisberger. Where do I begin?
Let’s see. For starters, you apparently just cornered some girl in a club bathroom and had your way with her. That’s awesome, bro. Way to go. Definitely shows your manliness when you can have your way with a girl when you physically overpower her more than 2 to 1.
Not to mention your face looks like a pigs ass covered in shaved off beard remains.
I don’t know what else to say, other than, Ben Roethlisberger, you are a huge douchebag.
An epic douchebag.
(Police Report: http://bit.ly/aUxpCO)
We interrupt our regularly scheduled douchebag programming to bring you a sneak peek of our sister blog, letmehit.it:
For some reason this is way hotter in sepia.
Let Me Hit It.
This submission comes to us from email:
“I’m submitting this on behalf of my best friend,
This douchebag tried to get with her for months, she finally gave in and the two started dating. She was whipped out of her mind, he literally had her on a leash. Everywhere we went, he was checking up on her, appearing out of nowhere. One night, she was drunk at my house, he picked her up and basically coerced her into giving him head in his shitty little car which was parked distinctly overlooking our school’s football feild because, “he’s an amazing lineman, and good at everything he does.” Towards the end of the relationship, the kid didnt have enough balls to break up with her, he avoided going to parties just because SHE was going to be there and told all of her friend, as well as his that they were broken up, before actually telling her. All of this happened because he wanted to persue a girl who looked like a fat pug, that he was talking to throughout their relationship and would fuck him.John Barnable run around school and acts like he’s “the shit.” He think every girl wants him and the guys want to be him, when in reality, everyone thinks hes a “fat sow.” When he wants to get out of something he’s done, he says, “…but I play football,” as if it actually means something. He also thinks he’s a good wrestler, but yet I’ve been to most of the matches, he hasn’t won yet.
Grade A Football Player Douchebag.”
Couldn’t agree with you more.
Verdict: Oversized douche nozzle.
we’ve come up with at least seventeen reasons we’d like to punch this dude, and we’ve all only had one beer each.
Paging Dr. Douchebag.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware you had been casted in the remake of Star Trek.
Another fun and games email submission that I missed when it was sent in! Luckily I found it.
“I am dating a wonderful guy right now (thank god.) but before mr.right I dated this clown. His name is Dan. When I dated him he cheated on me twice, took advantage of my friend while she was heavily intoxicated, and kept asking my other friends if they would like to ‘hang out’ with him alone. He does little talent shows and open mic nights at his school. He thinks he is an undiscovered talent to some emo band. He straightens his hair, he spends more time in the mirror than me, and whenever he paid for me he complained. Now he is currently dating girls around the age of 13 or 14 and he is almost 18 years old. Oh, and he also sends random girls pictures of himself nude I heard. He thinks he is a upcoming star, I personally think he is a upcoming douche. I am embarrassed to say I used to date him.”
Dating underage girls? Classy. Dating girls so underage it’s literally illegal? Priceless.
Are you suprised? Tiger Woods is a bit of a douchebag.
I can’t say I would have taken the time to write this particular post if his extramarital affairs had been with only one women. Hell, I probably wouldn’t have even done it if it was two. He’s famous, it’s not that farfetched. But come on. He’s leaving a body trail like some kind of golf-prodigy serial killer.
I think that it can all be summed up as such:
Tiger Woods before his wife found out he was sleeping around: 
Aaaaaand, Tiger Woods after his wife found out he was sleeping with every white woman he could get his hands on:
poor poor sad Tiger.
Verdict: Douchebag.
There is only one thing to say.
When the world ends, and the time comes for me to kill someone, any one person.
It will be Chris.
I’m sorry, but you drive a Saab. You also own a shell of a Porsche. That means it doesn’t have an engine. It doesn’t drive. You don’t own a Porsche. You own the body of a Porsche.
Everytime you walk into a room, you don’t need to validate yourself by telling us about how you “drifted around this sick corner and almost hit some other car, but it’s all cool.”
People like you are the reason that someone needs to go to Costco, buy an industrial size bottle of Clorox bleach, and pour it into the gene pool.
I would rather slide down a waterslide covered in razorblades, into a pool of rubbing alcohol, than hear you talk about your car ever again. Or how expensive your (not expensive, you bought it at Kohl’s) suit is. I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. It.
Douchebag.
